Harambe wasn’t dead.

20

19

More people cared about grammar.

39

9

I wasn’t addicted to the Internet.

31

7

I had a life.

32

10

Muslims were allowed to live peacefully.

51

8

You gave me your number.

26

33

Sean Spicer spent some time studying history.

42

17

I wasn’t a potato.

53

17

I could get out of bed any time that I wanted.

57

7

I had some ice cream.

57

9

I could go to the moon on holiday!

32

16

I was awesome at piano.

42

7

I could stop worrying about money.

46

5

Our leaders saw kindness as a strength and not a weakness.

35

6

The rich weren’t so fucking greedy.

32

5

I won the EuroMillions draw tonight.

18

8

Nicola Sturgeon and Donald Trump didn’t exist.

19

10

You didn’t feel so nervous before a big scary interview.

21

4

Freddos were still 10p.

14

6

I could trust people more.

15

2

I could spend every day creating things that I cared about.

23

1

Donald Trump would stop crying about ‘Fake News’.

15

2

People did not litter.

11

1

Drivers of BMWs and Mercedes cars would indicate at junctions.

8

2

The media praised wonderfully talented people instead of reality “stars”.

12

1

People put more trust in facts, rather than opinion.

11

1

The boy I like would notice me.

8

1

I could eat pizza every day, and not get fat.

14

1

I could teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

7

1

All the world’s wealth wasn’t stolen by the top 1%.

18

0